Depression Revisited : Blame Stephen

January 21, 2017 / 4 Comments / Posted in: News

Since talking about my personal struggle with Depression in a blog post on the 6th of August 2016, a moment that SO many people talked about locally and thanked me for bring out in the open, and still do, there have been, going on the known average, 1395 more suicides in Australia.

1395 deaths in 4 months!!!!!  WOW!!!!!

 

It’s a forgotten number. A dismissed total unless it hits you personally, and when it does it’s just a single number and it weighs you down more than any statistic could. It’s real. It’s not a number. It’s death and incomprehensible loss.

 

But the thing is, until or unless it happens to you, no one ever thinks it will.

 

1395 … and it will be 1403 this time tomorrow. Think about that for a while. And if you’re not reading this straight away, think about how many have died in the time since. On average … 8 people die from suicide every day in this country. It’s so scary … and it’s important. It’s SO important.

 

 

Life is a funny thing.

 

Time is devoured by our past at a more violent pace than any of us, or at least any of us over 40, like to admit.

 

We turn 18 and life is never-ending. We hit 25 and suddenly we feel like we’re old but have no idea that we’re still a child. 30 arrives and our friends and family jokingly tell us that life is over as we know it. Then, out of the ridiculousness of nowhere, 40 arrives. What the fuck? 40? How the hell did that happen! 40!!

Is such a crazy premise even possible in the reality of what we thought life was? The answer, unfortunately, or fortunately, for many, is yes. 40 arrives before we know it. At 43 myself, I haven’t made it far enough to know yet, but I’m sure that 50, 60 70, and hopefully years beyond that exist too.

 

I’m a very lucky person, in that both of my parents are in their 70s and are very healthy. I have many friends that aren’t as blessed as I, and I don’t take this luck, and it really is luck, lightly. I don’t see or talk to my parents as often as I should, and the same goes for talking to my two older sisters too, but I can tell you without a word of a lie that I have a better relationship with my family than most wish they could ever have. We all have so much fun in each others company. It’s so good that it almost feels like I’m going to wake up one morning and find that my family is all a dream. I’m an incredibly lucky son and brother. But … I’ve just never been one to need constant family contact, even though that has no bearing on my love for them.

 

Why I’m bringing all of this up is pretty simple. Topics like depression get mentioned, but are soon forgotten by most unless it’s kept in the public eye. This isn’t because people around us don’t care, most really do, it’s because there are so many life-changing issues to grab our attention from day to day. But we need to remember that life, a journey that slides by at a permanent, out of control rate, can seem fantastic, but it still gets the best of us down. It drags us into hell even when it seems like we have everything that we want. It’s a total bitch! From the outside, everyone else’s life looks easy, perfect, and even what you would wish for. In reality, there is always pain or struggle hidden beneath the surface that everyone else doesn’t see. The life you see as perfect, isnt. The people you want to be like are no better than you. But, your mind sees everything differently and wants this imaginary life that others live in. Our brains are ridiculously funny things and we shouldn’t be scared to tell them to fuck off.

 

In saying all this, I’m happier at the moment than I remember ever being in my life. There are many reasons for this, the main one being that fact that I survived, to this point, severe depression and am far more conscious of dealing with the triggers that set me off. That doesn’t mean that I don’t hate my life from time to time and don’t want to drag myself into a dark hole and hide away from everyone, it just means I’m surviving … so far.

Most know that I fully admit that I will suffer from depression for the entirety of my life. That’s a truth I don’t hide from, and shouldn’t have to.

 

There are many moments, mostly obvious but many unknown, that have allowed me to move forward in my life and still be here today to be able to type this, but the main reason is resilience. I’m not the toughest guy on the planet, but I don’t want to die yet. I want to know what else is possible and what else is in my future. It’s all so unknown and I don’t want to miss that, good or bad. I’m not saying I wont have dark moments in my future – I’m a realist – but I’m not planning on giving up on what could be.

 

So that’s me. What about you?

 

What about the people you know. If you’re not suffering from some form of depression yourself, people close to you are. That’s a fact. We’re good at hiding it because we still don’t feel like talking about it is accepted. It still makes us feel like we’re weak in your eyes. And because of that, we drink too much, we act like we hate you, we cut ourselves in places you can’t see, we keep ourselves away from others, we think about ways of ending our lives daily, our work suffers, our relationships splinter, our friendships crumble, and we want to run away from everything.

 

Unless you have suffered from depression, you just don’t get it. That’s not a bad thing, but you just can’t understand how it feels. I encourage everyone who cares about this subject to find out more information so you know how to deal with people around you who suffer from it. Just saying “Snap out if it” or “Just don’t let it worry you” doesn’t work. Depression isn’t a runny nose that you blow to fix, unfortunately.

 

I’m going to stop typing now because, odds are, you haven’t made it this far. But if you have, you care, so share this post on your Facebook page and help me keep this issue out in the open. Please. You might save a life. It might even be mine. I’m not scared to admit that. Every day is a different day.

 

 

If you need someone to talk to, or you know someone who may need help, call Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14. They really can help xx Please don’t give up xx There’s so much love out there waiting for you xx

 

Blame Stephen : Should Gay Marriage Be Legal?

September 30, 2016 / No Comments / Posted in: News

 

Half of you reading this have come here because you’re curious to see what I think on the topic of same-sex marriage. The other half, you’re at your desk or holding your phones, hands jittery, already itching to reply and tell me I’m wrong … that same-sex marriage is wrong. Wrong, wrong, fucking wrong!! You probably don’t even have an argument, other than saying … “it’s wrong.”

 

Well, I’m about to tell everyone the two reasons why it isn’t wrong. I’m going to explain two incredibly simplistic reasons why we should embrace it. Are you ready for this? Hold onto your seats and prepare to have your mind blown!

 

Wow … that might be building things up a little too much … anyway, here we go.

 

Reason #1   Economic Growth

 

What the Fuck am I on about!?

 

Yeah I know. It’s not the reason you were expecting, but hear me out. We, especially here in my home state of Tasmania, could really do with extra growth in our economy. Tassie is doing is pretty tough and has done for decades, so why not find a simple solution to throw extra dollars into the market.

 

 

The average cost for a wedding in 2012 was $36,200. Holy Shit-Balls, Batman!! Now I know you’re reading this and saying, “Troy. You’re full of shit. My wedding didn’t cost that much,” but remember this is an average cost. So … some only costed out at thousands, while others were in the hundreds of thousands. Also, that average would now, four years later, will be thousands higher than that figure.

 

Imagine for a moment, how many same-sex couples want to get married. Census information from 2011 tells us that there were 33,700 same-sex couples in Australia (I’m sure that numbers has increased significantly as we now live in a more accepting age and I’m sure many people weren’t comfortable admitting that information). Not everyone wants to get married, obviously, so how about if just 6,000 couples would get married if they were legally able to. That’s a low number, but fair for this discussion.

 

6,000 x $36,000 =  $217,200,000 … yep … that’s over  TWO HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS being spent locally on venue hire, caterers, musicians, florists, decorators, alcohol, churches, celebrants, accommodation and more. And this aren’t things you order online so nearly all the money will be spent with local people who NEED the business.

 

 

And that figure doesn’t even include the engagement or wedding rings. So, let’s be realistic, and say that all the rings come to a total of $2000 for each couple. That’s 10,000,000. Another ten million!!

 

Then, and here’s the kicker, if the government decides to legalise it instead of spending (wasting) a quoted $160,000,000 on a plebiscite, not only do we gain close to quarter of a million dollars of local spending, we also save a hundred and sixty million that can be better spent on more important things such as health and education.

 

Plus, with the rate of divorce these days, imagine how much extra money lawyers will make. They must be secretly hoping for same-sex marriage more than gay couples.

 

If I had a mic right now I’d drop it and leave the stage. BOOM!!! But I’m at a laptop and not onstage so let’s just move on, shall we.

 

Legalising Same Sex marriage is financially smart for Australia!

 

Reason #2    The World Needs More Love

 

How simple is that? And guess what … you can’t argue it, can you? Not with any actual valid points, that is.

 

Humans aren’t the smartest creatures at times, but one thing we do well is we learn and change and grow, looking towards a better future for us and the generations to come. History is littered with terrible mistakes and we can’t escape that, we can only be better going forward.

 

It was that long ago that there was slavery.

 

Woman couldn’t vote and stayed at home looking after the children and the kitchen was their place.

 

Girls couldn’t play cricket or football.

 

Having black skin made you a lesser being (there’s still a long way to go there).

 

Only men held high paying or important jobs.

 

Same-sex couples couldn’t marry.

 

Oh, sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself there. Same-sex couples still can’t be married, though the thought seems as archaic as the others listed.

 

If you want blatant proof of how quickly the world changes around us, this is what a standard vagina looked like in the 80s …

 

 

This is what your everyday vagina looks like now.

 

 

Okay … not the best representation, but you get the point.

 

Seriously, we live in world that has come so far, but still has a very long way to go. There’s so much pain and segregation and war and hate and a little bit of love can’t be a bad thing, can it?

 

 

Now … I’m a 43 year old, divorced, straight, white guy. What the hell do I really know about marriage equality? To be completely honest with you, I don’t understand why people are against it, other than the fact that they just don’t like change. From a religious point of view, I was married next to a beach and God wasn’t mentioned once so it’s no longer a religious ceremony, which means that argument is void … and most of religious history is fiction anyway (waits for religious friends to text me).

 

I don’t believe same-sex couples want to steal anything from us. They just want their relationships to be as relevant as others – it’s like wanting to be able to vote. Until that happens we are judging same-sex relationships are second-class and not equal. A friend recently said to me that it wasn’t right for same-sex couples to be able to marry because they can bring up children who will only see a gay environment and be swayed that way. Anyone who thinks this is a valid argument for not legalising same-sex marriage obviously has no idea of how world-wise children are now. Kids know more, are able to discover more information than ever before, and are more acceptable of people than you or I will ever be.

 

And here’s one more thing for you … gay couples are already having sex with their two penises or their two vaginas and doing cute relationship things around you all the time anyway and have been for decades. They are in the house next to you, sitting in the next row in the cinema, snuggled up on the couch watching TV, holding hands and walking on the beach, making out in clubs, eating dinner across from you in your favourite restaurant, and doing anything else that you normally do. Why? Because … now keep this a secret because we don’t want everyone to know … because they’re just the same as you.

 

The world needs positive energy. Love all people, no matter what sexual orientation, religious belief, gender, or race.

 

Let love win.

 

After all … what can go wrong? It’s not like men and women living together and getting married works out perfectly.